Perfect
by fumbling
Summary: Felicity's thoughts throughout a very important day a few years down the line form where the finale left off


1 Perfect  
  
By fumbling  
  
e-mail: mellarina@hotmail.com  
  
Dissclaimer: None of the characters contained herein belong to me (they are property of j.j. abrams, matt reeves, and the actors who portray them), but I love them and I've treated them well. . . . at least, I think I have. Oh, wait! Ha! The justice of the peace is mine! Yes!  
  
Author's notes: okay, I'm sorry, but I just could not let Felicity and Ben pass without getting married. And since the producers and writers didn't seem to think that a wedding was necessary, I decided to make one up myself! Clearly it could not possibly compare to a real Felicity wedding, but hey, one works with what one has. It's really just a little piece of fluff to give me peace of mind and some sense of closure—even though it isn't real closure because I just made it up. And that isn't to say that I didn't love the ending that the producers & writers did give Felicity and Ben, because I did, I just – okay, I am rambling. I just wrote it for kicks and I know that the characters probably aren't as true to form as they could be (it's really cheesy—even for Felicity), but I banged this baby out in like a half hour. So read it with the same sense of fun with which I wrote it & hopefully you won't hate it too much. In fact, feedback would be much appreciated. Thank you and goodnight.  
  
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I'm already awake, but I'm not about to let him know that. He's just lying there, watching me, with this amazing look on his face that he only gets in these early morning moments. He does this a lot when he thinks that I'm still sleeping. He's been doing it forever—as long as we've been together. Which, I think, is forever. I know it sounds crazy, but I really do believe in that whole soul mates that always find one another over & over again through different life times theory. I mean, being the hopeless romantic that I am, I always wanted to believe in it. Then we found each other, and now I know that it's true. Through my just barely open so he can't tell they're open but I can sort of see him eyes, I can just make out a smile, and I know what's coming. I close my eyes for real. He probably knows that I'm not asleep. He's probably known for years. But it's tradition.  
  
He softly kisses my cheek. I smile.  
  
"Hey" he whispers.  
  
I open my eyes, "Hey. How long have you been awake?"  
  
He smiles, "A while."  
  
I laugh, "Well, good morning."  
  
He giggles (I love it when he giggles), moving closer to me on the bed. "Yeah, really good morning." we giggle together. And he kisses me.  
  
Really good morning. Ben and I are getting married today.  
  
  
  
"Yes, yeah . . . yes Mom I am. I'm on my way there now. Yes. Okay . . . . okay. Okay. Right. So I'll see you there . . . . yeah, me too. Okay, bye." As I hang up the cell phone with an exasperated sigh Meghan grimaces at me in the rear view mirror.  
  
"Would it be somehow wrong for me to lay the smack down on your parents on your wedding day?"  
  
I laugh. She's so serious. "No, no . . . she's just excited and nervous. She thinks I'm going to be late to the salon thereby throwing off the entire day's schedule. And she is sure that Ben is somehow going to forget to . . . . I don't know, wear his tux?"  
  
"First of all, I guarantee you that Ben will not forget the tux. He loves that thing-- when I stopped by to pick up my dress last night, he answered the door in it. And second, he's got Sean and Javier with him. The three of them together . . . . okay, maybe we should check on them." Elena chimes in from the passenger seat, reaching for my phone.  
  
I just laugh. I always thought that I'd be a nervous wreck on my wedding day. But somehow I am feeling . . . I don't know, just serene. I mean, hell yes, of course I'm nervous. But I'm not jittery, I'm not rushing and rambling and freaking out, which is definitely my normal reaction to high- stress situations. Today already feels perfect. I'm probably just in a state of shock at the fact that I'm actually getting married—that after today I will be someone's wife. Someone will be my husband. And that someone is Ben Covington. I laugh thinking of all the people that have come up to me or Ben at the grocery store or wherever around town in the last few months, since our engagement/wedding announcement ran in the Palo Alto Tribune. Sheila Larken put it best when she told Ben, "If there had been a year book category for 'Most unlikely couple to hook up after graduation . . . or EVER' it most definitely would have gone to you two." It bothered him, all the people asking if the announcement had been a misprint, if it was serious. I guess he took offense to it, to people still thinking that I was a weirdo geek loser. But I think it's hilarious. And honestly, I could not care less about what those people think of me. In high school I was miserable because I let all of their opinions and ideas of what was cool and normal rule my life, but now I am just me and Ben loves me and I love him and we are happy and we are going to be happy for the rest of our lives.  
  
"Javier was crying and Ben was throwing up, but Sean says that they're right on schedule!" Elena interrupts my reverie.  
  
"What? Ben was throwing up?" um, yeah, serenity gone.  
  
"Oh, classic wedding day behavior. Definitely. The men, they can't handle the stress. Really, totally normal." Meghan assures me.  
  
"Oh yeah, totally." Adds Elena.  
  
"Besides, Sean knows he'll get a good ass kicking if anything goes wrong." Meghan finishes.  
  
Throwing up? Oh my god.  
  
  
  
"Okay . . . . wait, wait, let me adjust my panty-hoes. All right, arms straight up? Ah! Make sure the skbbbwwwwaaahphhhhhhhh- Owww! Oh my god! It's actually on? Um, okay, wow, that was hilarious!" I had no idea that putting on a wedding dress is like this huge ordeal that takes an entire entourage.  
  
"All these buttons, Felicity! Leave it to you to pick the most complicated dress ever assembled." My mom's voice is light and teasing. But a little teary, too. "Okay, sweetie. You're done."  
  
I turn to face the small crowd gathered in the bedroom. "Well? How do I look?"  
  
"Like an angel!" Javier rushes forward and throws his arms around me.  
  
"Javier, come on! Wait until the ceremony actually starts!" but his tears are contagious and I have to swat at my own eyes.  
  
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I know. It's just you, my little Felicity, and my handsome Benjamin – who, by the way is looking so much even more handsome than I've ever seen him before—I just can't believe it! And I mean, it's about time really guys, come on. Oh, I am so happy!"  
  
My father clears his throat at the door, "Five minutes to show time."  
  
I turn to Elena, Meghan, and Javier, "Okay, guys, one more group hug?" Javier grabs us all and clings on for dear life.  
  
"Okay, okay, enough! Jesus, it's a wedding, not a death march. Come on, we need to go get Sean and Ben set up. Lord knows they won't be able to figure it out themselves." Meghan ushers Javier and Elena out, but not without throwing me a quick smile.  
  
I laugh after them, and then slowly turn to my Mom and Dad. "So, umm, here we are." The last three years have seen a definite improvement in my relationship with my parents. Still, I worry that they haven't completely accepted Ben and my decision to spend my life with him. I mean, we're doing really well in school—we're going to be doctors. And they know that I'm happy. But the approval seeking little girl in me still needs to know.  
  
"Yes, here we are." And here it comes. "Look, Felicity, I know that your mother and I . . . we were less than thrilled when you first told us that you and Ben were engaged. But that was a long time ago. A lot has changed since then. But—I guess much to our surprise—you and Ben, you've been able to weather that change together. I mean, you've been together for how many years now?"  
  
My Mom picks up, "And you've been able to grow and learn and achieve so much—and you've done all of that together, but without sacrificing any part of yourself. I just – we are just very proud of you. For everything. For the career that you are working towards, for the life that you've built for yourself. But more than anything, for the person that you've become."  
  
"And we are very, very proud of Ben, too." My father finishes. Tears make his eyes look glassy.  
  
"Thank you, Mom and Dad." Thank god. Through the tears streaming down my face I manage to find my parents' arms. But I have to pull away, we have to go. "Okay!" I smile, "Enough with the tears! I have to save some for the ceremony!"  
  
"Are we ready?" my father asks, holding out his arm.  
  
"We're ready." I say with assurance. I am so unbelievably nervous, but I know that Ben is waiting for me at the end of that aisle. That is all I need.  
  
  
  
Of course I'm getting married on the beach. Us hopeless romantics like these stereotypical cheesy weddings. It's an amazing dusk—the sun is just beginning to set over the Pacific. There's a light breeze that's blowing my veil out behind me and making my simple satin gown billow. It's like some old fashioned romance movie. It's perfect.  
  
As my Mom and Dad and I –they're both walking me down the aisle—reach the top of the dune overlooking the make-shift altar of white gardenias, lilies, and roses, I see the small crowd gathered around it and laugh at the fact that almost everyone is barefoot. They're totally making fun of my insistence on walking down the aisle with no shoes on. And I love it. Meghan and Elena are standing with their bouquets, smiling up at me. And directly across from them, Sean is laughing and Javier is crying. And there's Ben. I close my eyes and will my mind to take a permanent mental picture of that look, the one he has on his face right now. It's a look I've never seen before and I know that I'll never see again.  
  
"Okay, here we go." My father whispers, more to himself than anything, as the lone violin begins the wedding march.  
  
Oh my god, oh my GOD! I can't believe that I am here, now, getting married! There is nothing else in the world that I want right now but this moment. I am so ready for this—we both are. And I'm guessing by the huge ridiculous grin on Ben's face that I'm smiling like a crazy woman. I reach the altar without even realizing that I've been walking. The justice of the peace is waiting expectantly for my Mom and Dad to let me go. I turn to face these people who I've argued with and cried with and screamed at and loved for my whole life, "Thank you guys. I love you so much." I am just barely able to choke the words out. They just hug me. I don't think they could manage to say a word at the moment. Which seems so fitting—for once in my life they have nothing to say. They must approve, I think, smiling.  
  
Then I turn to Ben.  
  
"Hey," he whispers.  
  
"Hey. You been waiting long?"  
  
He laughs, "For a while."  
  
The ceremony begins. I try to pay attention to what is being said, but however cliché it may sound, Ben and I are just lost in each other. I can't wipe this huge grin off my face, and I can't tear my eyes away from his.  
  
"Benjamin and Felicity have decided to write their own vows, and Ben has requested to go first for fear that he may forget them." This garners a laugh from the crowd.  
  
Ben clears his throat, and suddenly the grin is gone, replaced by a look of . . . I don't know, just super intensity. My eyes tell him to go on, my smile tells him it's okay to be nervous. He clutches my hands a little tighter.  
  
"Ummm, I'm sure that, uh, everyone here knows that I'm not really big on words, so, just, bear with me, okay?" I laugh. Maybe the crowd does too, but I'm not paying them any attention. "The thing is that I . . . Felicity, you told me once a long time ago that if what we have wasn't worth fighting for, we wouldn't have made it this far. That has kind of become my slogan in life. Whenever I feel like I can't take anymore, anymore school, anymore of just being me, I think of that—I hear you saying it. And it makes me want to work harder, to be a better person. That's what you've given me. You've made me want to be the kind of man who deserves you. You never stop challenging me, you never stop making me think and feel and do things that I never thought I could think, feel or do. You know, everyday I think there's no way I could possibly love you more than I do already, then the next morning I wake up and I look at you, and somehow I do love you more than I did the day before. There's a whole lot that I'm not sure of, but the one thing that I know for certain is that I don't want to live my life without you beside me, and I am thankful for every day that we have had together, and for all of the days that lay ahead. So thank you, thank you for being in my life." He breathes a huge sigh, his eyes twinkle with happiness and tears, and the smile returns. "Whoa, did I just say all of that?"  
  
I laugh again. I love this man. I love him so, so much. I can't believe how beautiful, how perfect his words were.  
  
The justice turns to me, "Felicity?"  
  
I laugh through the tears that fall unchecked down my cheeks, "Okay, just give me a second?" Ben wipes away a tear with our clutched hands and his eyes will me on. I breathe deep. "Okay . . . all right, as I'm sure most of you also know, I kind of tend to ramble, so please bear with me, too" He laughs and I smile and I know that I can do this. "Ben, it sounds crazy, but I've known from the first time I saw you that we'd be here someday. I just, I don't know. There was this force, this feeling-- I just knew. It wasn't an easy journey, but we took it together, and every bump and twist and turn has made us that much stronger. I just," oh no. My voice is cracking—the tears are totally choking me up and I sound ridiculous, but I have to keep going. He squeezes my hands. "I know that life is never going to be perfect and that we will always face problems, but you are the most amazing, beautiful, strong man that I have ever known and I know that you can do anything. And you make me believe that I can do anything, too. You've given me so much, but more than anything else you've made me realize that I am strong too. You've made me see that I can do anything on my own—but I choose to do it all with you. That's what is so special—we choose to be together. Over and over again, we keep choosing each other. That means that we are strong and we are real. And together, we can face any obstacle. And I, I am just so, so lucky to be in love with you." Ben's face tells me that he understands completely and I know that I chose the right words.  
  
"Sean? The rings please?" The justice gestures to Sean.  
  
"Oh, right! Yes, coming up." He reaches into his right pocket. "Ummm, uhh, just, just a second." The glare Meghan is shooting him right now could stop a hungry lion dead in its tracks and send it whimpering away in the opposite direction. Ben and I just laugh. I am so happy and so at ease this moment, nothing could change that. "Ha!" Sean yells victoriously, procuring the two simple silver bands and shooting Meghan a look of pointed triumph.  
  
"Ben, place the ring on Felicity's left hand and repeat after me, 'with this ring I thee wed,' "  
  
His hands are so warm and the ring is so new and cold from the chilly evening air, but as he slips it on my finger it warms my entire body, from my heart outwards. "With this ring, I thee wed," his words are quiet-- the Ben whisper that I am so used to and draw such comfort from.  
  
" 'And pledge to you all my heart, all my soul, and all my trust, always.' " the justice finishes.  
  
Ben's eyes implore me to never forget or doubt the words that he slowly, quietly repeats, "and pledge to you all my heart, all my soul, all my trust, always."  
  
"Felicity, place the ring on Ben's left hand and repeat after me, 'with this ring I thee wed,' "  
  
My hands are shaking until his warm hand steadies me. The ring slips onto his finger smoothly, a perfect fit. Thank god—I was totally afraid I would drop it. "With this ring I thee wed, and pledge to you all my heart, all my soul, and all my trust, always." The crowd laughs, and the justice chuckles warmly. Ben grins sheepishly and strokes my hands with his thumbs. "What? Oh my god, did I say it wrong?"  
  
"No, just a bit over-eager, dear. Understandable." The justice chuckles again. Oh my god, I jumped ahead! I was supposed to repeat after him. I laugh, realizing my error. "Well Ben, Felicity, the state of California invests in me the power to pronounce you husband and wife. Now kiss each other and make it official."  
  
I feel—I don't know what I feel, but I know that I like the feeling. I reach for Ben's face and he does the same and our smiles meet and we kiss for the first time as husband and wife. Our laughter erupts mid-kiss and he pulls me into his arms and lifts me off the ground in a huge hug. "My wife." He whispers into my hair.  
  
"My husband."  
  
This moment is perfect.  
  
  
  
end. 


End file.
